July 14, 2010

A long time has passed since I lasted posted on this blog. My life has been totally changed by tremendous upheavals.

If events such as have occurred in my life in the past 2 years occur under the surface of the earth, they are called earthquakes. Earthquakes are measured for intensity by the Richter Scale. If there were a similar scale to measure the emotional upheaval various events and experiences cause in the human emotional psyche, at least 4 events in my life over the past 2 years would measure high on the scale:

1. Jon's Battle and Survival of H1N1 Swine Flu
2. The Elimination of Position as Regional Sales Manager
3. Finding I Needed To Have Brain Surgery
4. The Wondrous Birth and Growth of Reagan Kirk

Through all of the events of the past 2 years, I have been amazed at how my faith in the goodness and wonder of God has soared and grown to points I would never have dreamed possible. After all the years of doubt, discouragement, anger and disappointment, to see the Creator of the Universe reveal to me why He has done the things He has done to me and for me is beyond any ability I have to comprehend.

While I have no idea what the future holds, and though I know I'm on the 'back-end' of my life simply due to my age, I am more at peace than I have ever been in my life. I am content the Lord has shown me He had been preparing me even in the midst of all my fighting Him to care for me and love me and provide for me the deepest and greatest longings of my heart.

Despite the fact I do not deserve even a small amount of the grace He has bestowed, I am grateful; and I hope I will never doubt His majesty and wonder again.

So Loved???

For God so loved the world???

All alone ---
I may depart without assistance
from Jesus’ hand
or cherub wing.

The distance calls.

I hear its beckoning sound.

I cry, too;
For I feel both ill-prepared and ready ---
Ill-prepared for all the answers seem so weak and trivial;
Ready
- because I’m tired
- because I will have no choice
- because I know time is short.

For God so loved the world???

From the very first day, time has always been short ---
Shorter for some,
Longer for others,
But short for everyone…

Like a wave moving toward and onto a desolate, deserted, sandless beach ---
A majestic crash no one hears,
A splendid spray no one sees,
A wet, wildness no one feels.

Did Someone summon me?
I heard no voice,
I saw no light,
I answered no call.

The end simply came ---
Just as I had suspected it would ---
Suddenly without fanfare or trumpet warning ---

For God so loved the world???

Where will I go?
To heaven (I hope!!!)
Surely not hell (please not!!!)
But please not anyone else either…

Evidence once compelling
Now seems insignificant and trivial.

In the light of eternity with 6 billion souls at risk,
How can the answer be
in one man,
in one event,
in one religion,
in one way.

For God so loved the world???

Hell, I can do the subtraction!!!!
--- 6.5 billion people ---

Subtract all who aren’t under even the most lenient of Christian umbrellas ---

· Atheist
· Agnostic
· Islamic
· Hinduist
· Shintoist
· Buddhists
· Animist
· Taoists
· Zen
· A plethora of minor religions…
· Etc., etc., etc….

…even if the broadest possible Christian interpretation is allowed
that’s 4 billion people headed straight into the jaws of hell ---
for all eternity…

· men
· women
· children
· infants
· unborn

What is abortion compared with that number???
So…Family Focus, why be so compassionate???

This leaves about 2 billion so-called Christians ---

· Methodists
· Baptist
· Roman Catholic
· Pentecostal
· Presbyterian
· Church of Christ
· Greek Orthodox
· Russian Orthodox
· Seventh Day Adventist
· Jehovah Witness
· Mormonism
· Etc., etc., etc…

For God so loved the world…

Now let’s continue the subtraction…
Using conservative, evangelical orthodoxy as the standard ---
There go the cults and liberal denominations ---

Most of the Methodists,
Many Baptists,
All but a scant few Roman Catholics,
A multitude of Presbyterians ---
All bound for the desolate place

For God so loved the world???

Subtraction, subtraction, subtraction ---
More and more of the group whittled away ---

By the time we get to genuine orthodoxy,
Only a few million left,
Or perhaps a few hundred thousand.
Quite an exclusive club…

For God so loved the world???

If God truly loves ‘the world’
Then He must be more inclusive
Than my teaching and dogma allow Him to be.

If He isn’t,
Then I can understand why 4+ billion people are going to feel He wasn’t loving.

In the light of eternity
He either loves us all and
Has a way to make us each acceptable for eternity.

Or He doesn’t
--- so what then?

I mean,
He is God ---
He can do whatever He chooses,
He can include or exclude whoever He wants
He is God ---

That is His position
And His alone,
And I cannot quibble with it
For I did not make Him.

He made me….

Still, because I do believe that God so loved the world,

I choose to believe He created the world.
I choose to believe He is in control (despite some evidence to the contrary)
I choose to believe He loves the world.
I choose to believe He has a plan for the whole race of humans.
I choose to believe He is bigger than the Bible,
I choose to believe He is bigger than my conservative teachings
I choose to believe He laughs (or cries) at our petty institutions and beliefs.
I also choose to believe He understands

· Pain
· Sickness
· Emotional scars
· Mental failings
· Physical handicaps
· Abusive relationships
· Rape
· Murder
· Hurt
· Disappointment

I choose to believe He understands and cares and has a way
Bigger than any one religion,
Bigger than any one group,
Any one church,
Any one dogma,
Any karma whatsoever…

I don’t have the answers;
I simply choose to believe.

Hopeless I am not.

My hope is great…
· for a better life
· for a new beginning
· for a wonderful release
· for real rest
· for comforting peace

This is for what I hope ---
All the things religion in this realm promises,
But never seems to produce in abundance.

Nothing to write...

Have you ever had writer's block? I've had writer's block for the past 10 years. That's it. Nothing to write.

I'm sure that will change.